"The longest journey we take as human beings is th "The longest journey we take as human beings is the eighteen inches from our head to our heart." - Unknown
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If we look around its so easy to see the disconnection - from nature, from each other, from ourselves.
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We live in a society that is increasingly focused on "me, me, me," yet, when we take the journey from our head to our heart, the irony is, our heart is so often saying "you, you, you - how can I serve you?"  Meaning, how can I serve those around me?
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I had an incredible conversation with Dr. Keith Campbell on a book he wrote called "The New Science of Narcissism."  This man literally started the national conversation around narcissism years ago, and in our podcast interview (Ep. 64), we chat:
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+ The traits of narcissistic personality disorder
+ The ramifications of flippantly calling someone a narcissist
+ How social media can be dangerous when it comes to culture- wide narcissistic tendencies
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The beauty here is: we can turn this around.  We can actively take care of ourselves and still serve others.  We can choose to both love ourselves AND love the people around us to our fullest capacity.
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<3 What's your favorite way to show someone you love them?  
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I have several ways that I love, but my favorite recently has been with a thoughtful gift.  - To show and say "I see you and I love you and I appreciate you."
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(Bandana/mask is the Ayzosh and bag is the Miramar - both from @parkerclayintl.  Code: PC-JACLYN20 will get you 20% off or you can swipe the link in my stories.  These are the most beautiful bags for the most beautiful cause).
I left L.A. yesterday. I was there for an import I left L.A. yesterday. 

I was there for an important meeting and I want to unravel several of the really cool things I’m discovering, and please, ask me your questions. We are on the self-discovery journey together. 

+ as of tomorrow, I will have meditated 100 days straight. It’s no accident that some of the biggest shifts in my life have happened in the last 100 days.

+ we do not have to heal and grow alone. I used to think it was a solo journey, it’s not. It’s a solo decision to walk in the direction of healing and growth but teachers present themselves and if we are wise, we accept their help.

+ growth doesn’t have to be incremental. We can take quantum leaps and achieve well beyond the obvious. This requires a dramatic mindset shift, but these quantum leaps are available to all of us. 

This healing, this growth - it’s the foundation of emotional freedom which translates into creating the life one dreams of. I’m watching it unfold before my eyes and simultaneously thinking “this is the truth I have been seeking. It’s been here all along.”

Easter is the day in which Jesus rose 🌹- we are invited to do the same. 

You can book a Sacred Space one-on-one call with me via the link in my bio. You don’t have to wait or walk alone. 

With so much love, 
Jaclyn
I appreciate a curated feed and photo, but this is I appreciate a curated feed and photo, but this is the real me.  It's raw.  It's sunset after a work day.  I'm taking a hike and releasing the to-list hangover that sometimes seeps into my evening hours.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Moments like these are my transition moments.  They are the moments that help me center - that bring be back to my aliveness.  I've been thinking about what makes me feel alive a lot lately and I've realized what it is: serving others.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And with that, I've decided, after looking at the impact my podcast, Self Discovery, is making to offer one-on-one coaching.  I don't have a secret methodology.  I don't have a 10 step program.  But what I do have is a lot of life experience.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My offerings are rooted in self-worth, because in my experience, every "obstacle" I have faced - in entrepreneurship, in relationships, in my health, in my bank account - has been clearly tied to feelings of self doubt, low self esteem, unworthiness, fear, and an attitude of "WTF am I doing with my life?!?!?!"⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you are struggling, if you are ready to welcome in a new era, and if you are willing to let go of the bs self-limiting beliefs holding you back, then shoot me a text and let's get this conversation started: 480-531-6858.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yeah, that's really my number, and yeah, I'm really on the other end of the line.  You will have to agree to opt-in, but I promise I will be the person you are speaking to.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This world needs you in your you-est form - that's one of the many gorgeous reasons you are here.  And if you need help stepping into that kind of life-altering, soul singing, powerful self-worth, I am one text message away.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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With So Much Love,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jaclyn
I took my dogs for a hike yesterday, and Pippin, m I took my dogs for a hike yesterday, and Pippin, my 4.5 pound Yorkie is a pill on long walks.  She thinks she is the leader of the pack.  She “muscles” her way around and keeps her nose to the ground like a hound on a scent.  The problem is, her intensity, at times, makes her completely unaware of where she is heading.  And yesterday, my dog Tumnus, (who is about 4x the size of Pip) somehow got a few feet ahead of her and was lifting his leg and peeing on a big rock.  This is not unusual, but what was unusual was that Pippin in all her intensity did not see Tumnus peeing and walked STRAIGHT THROUGH the stream.  Across her whole left side was a line of fresh Tumnus proof of what had just happened.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This reminded me of how we are as humans.  We get so intense, so focused, that we forget to look up and around.  This looking up and around allows us to take stock of our lives.  I mentioned that I hired a healer.  She is an intuitive acupuncturist that can read energy.  She said to me, “Jaclyn, you must stop doing, doing, doing, and practice just being.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Just being.  I have been practicing it this past week and it has allowed me to take an aerial view of my life.  I realize that so many of the things that I worry about have very little importance. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Being alive is important, and if we are caught up in the intensity of living, it’s really hard to feel alive.  In a world where shootings (Atlanta, Boulder) are common place, this concept of being is even more important.  Life is PRECIOUS.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This is my open prayer for the families of the victims lost in these shootings.  Join me if you feel led… I pray that these families feel enveloped by love and a deep knowing that they will one day be reunited with their precious loved ones.  And that in this time of grief, they would allow themselves the space to just be.  And like Johnnyswim sings “if it’s fragile and it shatters, let it matter, let it matter.”
The last two weeks have been transformative. Yes, The last two weeks have been transformative.  Yes, this is a @parkerclayintl post because I love their bags SO much, but this is also a post about the power of taking a breath.
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The last two weeks I haven't posted much.  Not because I was actively taking a break, but because I was totally and completely immersed in my life.
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I hired a healer (so much more on this), I hired a coach (so much more on this), my family came and visited from the midwest.
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And I've been falling in love with my life all over again.
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I read recently that if you want to ignite change in your life, then you have to run as fast as you can into the fire (before you can talk yourself out of it), because there is nothing like fear to bring your bs limiting beliefs to the surface.
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This is so true.  This is so, so true.
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So cheers to letting go of what holds us back, cheers to kick a$$ bags from @parkerclayintl that serve such an amazing purpose, and cheers to Monday even if it feels like Monday!
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Code: PC-JACLYN20 for 20% off this super handy and versatile Padaro bag. (I'll link in my stories, too). In addition, all clothing today is from @everlane.  I'll link similar items in stories, as well!
The importance of following your intuition (tips f The importance of following your intuition (tips for tuning in below):

Have you ever had a feeling so strong that your body reacts physically?  Or an inkling about someone before you meet them?  Or a gentle nudge that you should show up somewhere for some unknown reason?

This is intuition.  It is my belief that it’s actually universal intelligence channeling through you sending you a message.

In our fast paced, over stimulating culture though, it can be really hard to tune out the noise and tune in to this inner voice - this gut feeling.

For me, that’s when I turn to:
💙yoga
💙meditation
💙journaling
💙long walks
💙carving out moments of complete silence with no distraction (I have to put the phone away)
💙allowing energy to move through me instead of stopping it and trying to figure out what it is and how it works

Tuning in and listening to your intuition is vital, but you know what requires even more courage?  Acting on it.  Doing what it is nudging you to do.

Examples of what intuition has clearly led me to:
💯winning an international singing competition
💯meeting my now husband
💯moving to the West
💯finding the podcast guest on today’s episode

And you know what @okoliving ’s founder’s intuition led her to?  Starting this unlikely but so timely and beautifully intentional company.  Lindsay let her intuition lead the way through doubt, obstacles, and naysayers into a space where she is leading the way in ethical, eco-friendly, and safe yoga products.

Listen to our inspired conversation (episode 61) now streaming everywhere.

👉🏼👉🏽👉🏿And then leave us a comment! Did you know that many traditional sticky yoga mats emit toxic gases? I had NO IDEA!  And what did you learn from this episode with Lindsay?
We have to own our distractions. This is VITAL if We have to own our distractions.  This is VITAL if we want to own our day. (Actions steps below)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do we open Instagram right after we wake up?  Do we flip on the TV as soon as we get home?  Do we get caught up in drama at the office?  Do we get sucked into family matters that have nothing to do with us?  Do we allow ourselves to be victims of clickbait when have an open hour to work on our dreams?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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According to Stoic philosophy, owning what we are giving our mental energy to is a vital component of having autonomy over our lives.  Or in other, more personalized, words: are you living your life or is your life living you?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⛵️ Easy action steps for plugging the distraction holes:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. plan out "you" time - for self care, for working on your dreams, for accomplishing what you need to, etc. throughout the week (put it in your calendar as a non-negotiable)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. put your phone on airplane mode or put your phone on silent in another room⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. have written out what you want to accomplish during that time⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. set a timer⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. take a breath⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. do the work⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here's the thing, and I'm gearing up to go DEEP on this subject: chronically allowing distraction into our lives is a self worth issue.  We are saying to the Almighty: My time is not valuable.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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💎 truth check: YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE BECAUSE YOU ARE VALUABLE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We just have to start acting like it.  A great question to ask ourselves during the day is: would a person who values themselves spend time doing this?  If not, act accordingly.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🦋 What's one distraction, that if you decreased or eliminated it, would give you back super valuable time to work toward your dreams and desires?  Let's encourage each other in the comments below.  Chances are, if you are experiencing that distraction, someone else is too!
Do you take risks? And what really are risks? Is Do you take risks?

And what really are risks?  Is it jumping out of a plane?  Moving across the country?  Getting married?  Making that phone call?  DM-ing that person you admire to share the kind of value you or your product could offer them?  Making what feels like a vulnerable post on Instagram?

I know this much, my beautiful friends: progress, momentum, forward movement, success - they ALL require risk.

And @missamandasellers is sharing with us some of the risks she’s taken.  And boy oh boy have some of them paid off!  And some of them, she admits, haven’t.  However, she is still standing and growing and thriving and inspiring the rest of us to act on our own potential.

Risks, rejection, self worth, and self healing with Miss Amanda Sellers - episode 60 is up NOW!  Links in stories and in BIO.

✌🏼✌🏽✌🏿✌🏾What’s one risk you’ve taken that’s really paid off?  Let’s encourage one another!

p.s. neck scarf is from @parkerclayintl and has a built in and removable face mask.  I’ll link in my stories and code: PC-JACLYN20 will give you 20% off. :)
How do you know if you're stressed? Is this a dum How do you know if you're stressed?  Is this a dumb question?  I'm spilling some tea right here.  This is NOT a dumb question.  Recently, I've been SUPER focused on taking back the reigns of my life.  The beauty of my Hashimoto's diagnosis last August is that it's forced me to make some big changes because my health LITERALLY depends on it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I started with getting on the right medication dosage, then focused on dietary changes, and then stress management.  I probably should've STARTED with stress management.  Here's why:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I was so stressed all the time that I didn't know what not being stressed felt like.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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That's why last week I shared a post on lowering cortisol because stress causes cortisol spikes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So here's the tea and these things are KEY if you want to lower your stress/take your life back:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 put your phone away (I do no phone after 7PM, and I also keep my phone in my purse for the majority of the work day). The phone is constant stimulation and constant cortisol spikes for me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 prioritizing your dreams.  Creating space and taking action on what I want to accomplish FIRST rather then tending to everyone and their needs and THEN doing what I need to do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 take f-ing care of yourself.  Sleep.  Rest.  Time for books and just f-ing thinking.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 boundaries... with literally everyone.  What do I need today to be healthy and move my dreams forward? ... if you don't fit into that, I love you, but I'm worthy of my focus and attention.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 morning meditation⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 mindful eating/not multi-tasking⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 time spent doing things that fill me up - like spending quality time with my man.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For years, I had this list flipped upside down.  I was my priority only after I had made everyone else my priority.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🦋Success/progress/healing requires boundaries and stress management. Your thoughts?🦋
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Jaclyn Steele

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Music, Self Help, This is Important, Wellness · December 5, 2018

The Expense of Compassion

I want to start today’s blog post with a quote, and it is this:

“Have compassion for others, but not at the expense of compassion for yourself.“ 

 Paul Gilmartin

I just finished a run, and as I sit down at my computer to write this, I feel angry all over again.

“Oh my gosh, Jaclyn. I just completely fu€ked up your entire set. Please don’t hate me,” This person said to me as the lights transitioned and we made our way off the stage. This was my second time playing at a historic and famous bar in Atlanta.  The first time, with almost the exact same lineup of bands, we sold out the entire show. 

“Again, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t hear you in the monitor.  I want to make this up to you. I just can’t believe that happened” this person said again as we made our way backstage.  I’m not using a name or gender here because I don’t want shame this person.  They simply wanted to play in my set and assist.  Their intentions were pure.  We hand’t played together before, but I sent them our set list, and as often happens in live situations, musicians sit in for with each other.  When the offer came up, I was delighted.  

Backstage, we were greeted with kind words from the other musicians playing that night, but their eyes told the real story.  My set, that I had prepared weeks for, wasn’t good. In fact, it was the worst set that I have ever played in my time as a musician.  Like everrrr.

This is where I’m going to tie the quote from the beginning of this post into my story.  I am not here to blame anyone.  I am not here to shame anyone. But here’s the deal, I know myself well enough to know that I have a history of accepting whatever behavior has been sent my way (with the exception of nuclear family members). 

I have some bad tendencies:

+ I say “don’t worry about it” when I am burning inside.

+ I apologize first when I was the one wronged. 

+ I comfort others when I need to be comforted.

+ I turn the other cheek when clearly I’m being taken advantage of.

+ I dole out compassion after compassion after compassion until there is none left for myself.

I understand that compassion isn’t a currency that runs out, but energy is… and offering compassion requires energy.  Sometimes lots of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for compassion when someone truly needs it.  ALL for it.  But what about the times where we dole out compassion simply because we feel bad for the other person?  Or when we extend it because we want to avoid rocking the boat?  Or pissing someone off?  Or we are fearful we will be seen as difficult?

I’ve struggled with this for YEARS because I’ve always wanted to be seen as kind.  Kindness is one of my primary values.  But women and men who are reading this, is it truly kind to extend compassion when it is essentially covering up a lie?

A lie that what happened really was wrong.  A lie that no, it really wasn’t ok.  A lie that we then play over and over and over in our minds until we can’t stand ourselves because we let it happen. again.

Is that kindness?  Is that really kindness to others?  Is that really kindness to ourselves?

No.  It’s not.  Not in my book any day of the week.  To me, kindness is lovingly speaking the truth.  It’s saying hard things because you refuse to break any more of the promises you made to yourself.

I want to be kind to this girl.  Not fake kind… truly kind.  The kind of kind that requires brave and bold decisions.

In the case of my set last week, here is my truth: I worked for weeks to prepare.  I’m not the type that shows up and crosses my fingers hoping things turn out ok.  I’m the type that stands in front of a mirror singing and playing my guitar trying to portray the emotions of a song in a way that will make each ticket price worth paying for.  I drove almost 2 hours to get to the show and drove that same way home by myself at midnight afterwards because I stayed for everyone’s set.  I work hard at my craft.  And I have every right for being angry about someone sabotaging my set.  But you know who I am most mad at?  ME.

I’m mad at myself.  You want to know why?  Because it was MY set.  My name was on the fu$%ing bill.  MY NAME.  I could’ve stopped it all and demanded this person leave the stage immediately, but I was more worried about shaming that person than shaming myself.  I extended compassion completely and without a doubt at my own expense.

Don’t get me wrong, I did ask this person to quiet down and to stop playing for several songs, but this person either didn’t hear me, or was just so nervous they couldn’t help themselves.  So, for 6 songs, one after another after another, we were off.  My usual bandmate and I were in sync, but underneath every moment it sounded like there was a completely different song being played.  Mississippi Sinner, my single on iTunes and Spotify, was so off I couldn’t even hear when the second verse came in.  I think I handled it with as much grace as one can in a situation like this – I kept a smile on my face and laughed it off and pretended I wasn’t upset – but inside I was fuming.

My whole set was off because I didn’t want to offend anyone.  I was compassionate at my own expense.  I was prepared.  I knew those songs inside and out, yet I didn’t demand this person leave the stage because I didn’t want to embarrass them when it was MY NAME on the bill and MY SET.  How insane is that?  And what does it say about MY self esteem that I allowed someone else to wreck my creation without really putting up any fuss at all?  In fact, I covered it up.  Publicly.  On stage.  With a silly comment like “You know, this is the beauty of live music.  You just never know what will happen when playing live.  Sometimes it goes off with out a hitch and at other times you stumble through a few things.”  LOL.  Not.

It’s been three full days since that night.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it.  Wondering why I didn’t stop this whole thing 30 seconds into our first song…  Here is what I’ve come away with:

I was afraid to.  I didn’t want to hurt this person’s feelings.  I didn’t want them to carry shame.  I know what it’s like to carry shame and I don’t want to put that on anyone.  I also didn’t want to be seen as a bit*h.

Y’all there is this double standard.  A man can say what he needs to say and he’s a respected and considered to be a bad a$$, but when a woman stands up in strength, she is seen as a bit*h.  She is seen as difficult, as hard headed, as high maintenance (that’s probably my favorite one), or as whatever other negative connotation you want to insert next.  You’ve heard them before ladies.  Can I get an amen?

You see, I’m all for accepting responsibility, and in this case, I could have and should have stopped this person, but, in my defense, I’ve been conditioned to dole out compassion after compassion after compassion my whole life.

Our culture raises women with invisible but very real handcuffs.  These cuffs come in the form of double standards.  Of manipulation.  Of societal expectations and norms.  Of familial expectations and norms.  Of fear that we will be seen as unattractive, intimidating, too powerful, too big, too small, whatever.  The list goes on for days, y’all.  We’re ridiculed for being strong.  We’re ridiculed for being weak.  We’re ridiculed for not having the right hand bag.

One thing we aren’t ridiculed for though?  Being selfless.  No, no, we’re praised for being selfless.  People love it when we sacrifice our well being for the job, for the husband, for the kid, for the friend, for the function, for the vacation, for the month, for the year, for the decade, for every day of every month of every year of our entire lives.  In fact, the more sweet/ gentle/compassionate/giving/selfless we become, the more praise we receive.  #Imnotwrong

But, you know what, and I don’t care who gets mad at me for saying this, I don’t want to be selfless.  

I also don’t want to be full of myself.

What I really want is to be self aware.  To know myself so deeply and to respect myself so much that I refuse to allow my compassion or kindness or innate desire to be of value to others to come at my cost.

I’m not so good at this yet, but damn, I plan to be.

And you know what else?  Yeah, my set I worked so hard on sucked, but the lesson I am walking away with because of it is priceless. 

Light, Love, & Peace,

J A C L Y N   S T E E L E

p.s. Don’t you dare feel bad for me.  Learn from my failures and create the tools you need to do better.

In: Music, Self Help, This is Important, Wellness · Tagged: anger, bravery, compassion, kindness, lesson, music, performance

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Comments

  1. Ian says

    December 5, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    I don’t think a single person at the venue thought badly of you that night. I hope I speak for everyone when I say we recognized your talent and passion above all else, and I was so impressed with how composed you were throughout. Truly professional. Can’t wait for the next show!

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 5, 2018 at 2:46 pm

      Ian, I’m so grateful for you. Thank you. And thank you for showing up and being SO incredibly supportive. You are a gem of a human and I know you are destined for AMAZING things. I’ll be cheering you on!

      Reply
  2. Pat Biddle says

    December 5, 2018 at 1:43 pm

    When I was a young man my first wife and I put together a band and played an outdoor festival in Gainesville, Florida. We performed some fairly complicated songs (Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, Uncle John’s Band for example) and needed to hear each other’s vocals to pull them off. We got no monitors or the wrong ones and must have sounded dreadful, but we tried to put on a brave face and act graciously to people who complimented us, but we knew it was far from our best effort.
    I think everyone who performs on a stage in front of a crowd has gone through an experience of this sort at one time or another. As the sage described it, it builds character. It’s no fun but it develops thick skin, and that makes the next time on stage under difficult circumstances a little easier to swallow. You will persevere, because you have the talent to surmount these difficulties. That’s all you need to focus on..

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 5, 2018 at 2:45 pm

      Oh Patton, thank you. As you know, it is so shocking when you are performing live in front of people and something of that nature happens. But, you are right, it does serve a purpose. We grow, we change, we come better prepared for the next round. Thank you for sharing with me and thank you for your encouragement. So much! <3

      Reply
  3. Jeffrey says

    December 5, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Thanks for your honesty,Jaclyn. I can relate.

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 5, 2018 at 2:44 pm

      Jeffrey, you are so welcome. It is an honor to share with you and an honor that you take the time to read my words. We are in this together!

      Reply
  4. Caitlyn says

    December 5, 2018 at 2:46 pm

    Man I’ve totally been there and it’s the worst feeling in the world. Also, it is so true about men and woman being portrayed differently for being clear with what they want. If my male musicians say something, they’re just being honest, if I say something, I’m being a b***h. It’s the most frustrating thing.

    Hang in there. One step at a time.

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 5, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Caitlyn, thank you for your honesty. I was a bit intimidated to put that in the post because I had a feeling I would receive some flack about it, but it’s been my experience too. If I’m anything but kind, I’m labeled high maintenance or difficult… It’s such a tough position to be in. I think the key is being your powerful self and refusing to be afraid to lose musicians that aren’t the right fit for your project. If they can’t handle you, then they need to move on. I’m never mean and I’m never cruel, but I need to respect myself enough to stand up for what I believe in and the direction I want to go. Thank you for sharing with me. I believe in you. Keep going! 🙂 <3

      Reply
  5. Grace says

    December 5, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    This is SUCH good insight. While I can’t relate to the exact situation I can SO relate to the feeling. Conflict registers in my body and heart so quickly and shakes me up so I will do so many things to get out of it…and YES, I will totally extend love and kindness to others in these situations when it’s unmerited before extending it to myself and being kind but firm and assertive. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Jaclyn. Thank you.

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 5, 2018 at 4:56 pm

      Thank you, Grace. Oh man, I hear you and have been there so many times. Telling a joke, or skirting around the issue, or apologizing… I was just so convicted. I felt like my thinking was turned upside down. Essentially, I’m not showing myself the respect I deserve when I cover up the crap of others with compassion. Also, I’m not doing them any favors by doing so… It’s revolutionary for me and scary, but I think it’s the right thing to do. I adore you even if from afar. You have inspired me so much with your company, your loyalty to your sister, and super contagious charm! <3

      Reply
  6. Owen Scott, III says

    December 5, 2018 at 5:26 pm

    Jaclyn,

    Your courageously real post in an arrow that strikes true. I love that you wrote and posted it. You’re an artist and the goal of an artist is to bring out the art inside in its most perfect form. Unlike a painter or a film-maker, a musician performing before an audience can’t do a retake and a performance that falls painfully short is excruciating. I hate that this happened to you and I want to affirm it takes nothing from the great respect I have for you as a musician and human being. I have three fabulous adult daughters out being successful in challenging professions- I will vouch that your comments about how women are socialized and judged by a different standard than men are as true today as ever although I’m hopeful an awakening is in progress in our American society. I’ll hold my electronic tongue on the individual who wrecked your gig but I feel confident you won’t let it happen again! (Shared on my personal Facebook page).

    Best regards,

    Owen

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 5, 2018 at 8:40 pm

      Owen, thank you. I’m smiling from ear to ear reading this. And you’re right, our performances (I know you know this) are not repeatable… that’s the beauty of them and also the point of incredible pressure sometimes. Thank you for hearing me and affirming me. I so respect you and appreciate you. I also hope that our society shifts toward more respect and equal footing for women – not at the expense of men, but alongside them. I wish your daughters didn’t experience this either, yet, we have to start somewhere. At least we are acknowledging what is happening. Thank you, friend, for your ongoing support. It means the world to me.

      Reply
  7. Peter says

    December 6, 2018 at 2:53 am

    I can see and hear the whole thing unfolding and… owch Owch OWCH!

    On the bright side:

    You stood on the stage and shinned (as you do).

    You stood on the stage and, in that way, published your Truth: You are talented, full of immeasurable patience, and full of compassion.

    The “other person” on stage and published their truth: “Don’t hire me”.

    Sad, but true.

    In other words – don’t sell the audience short of knowing “what’s what”. Not that the knew the details of why that person was on stage with you in the first place, but that even as non-musicians they can hear the source of “good” sound and… “WTF?!?”

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 11, 2018 at 2:32 pm

      Peter, THANK YOU! And you’re right. You definitely are. I think the lesson for me beneath it was just so valuable – I’m so worth standing up for myself. I would never ever want to shame anyone or make them feel bad – but I have to stop doing that at my expense. Thank you for your encouragement. I miss you!

      Reply
  8. Kelly says

    December 6, 2018 at 7:43 pm

    Fantastic vulnerability and growth girl! I so appreciate your willingness to share from your own life experiences. It builds connection with anyone who reads and is authentic! Thank you for encouraging me today!

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 11, 2018 at 2:30 pm

      Kelly, you are so welcome. Thank you for your kind comment. I hope you are well! <3

      Reply
  9. Grace says

    December 13, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Tried to reply right underneath your words…but it took me here. So let me just say THANK YOU for those sweet words – honestly means so so much. And I hope we get to connect in person again someday!

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      December 18, 2018 at 3:29 pm

      Oh lady, I would LOVE that! We are so meant to be friends!<3

      Reply

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I'm Jaclyn. Writer. Podcaster. Songstress. Wander-luster. Clean beauty convert & conscious fashionista. I've never met a nude lipstick or personal development section I didn't like.

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"The longest journey we take as human beings is th "The longest journey we take as human beings is the eighteen inches from our head to our heart." - Unknown
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If we look around its so easy to see the disconnection - from nature, from each other, from ourselves.
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We live in a society that is increasingly focused on "me, me, me," yet, when we take the journey from our head to our heart, the irony is, our heart is so often saying "you, you, you - how can I serve you?"  Meaning, how can I serve those around me?
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I had an incredible conversation with Dr. Keith Campbell on a book he wrote called "The New Science of Narcissism."  This man literally started the national conversation around narcissism years ago, and in our podcast interview (Ep. 64), we chat:
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+ The traits of narcissistic personality disorder
+ The ramifications of flippantly calling someone a narcissist
+ How social media can be dangerous when it comes to culture- wide narcissistic tendencies
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The beauty here is: we can turn this around.  We can actively take care of ourselves and still serve others.  We can choose to both love ourselves AND love the people around us to our fullest capacity.
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<3 What's your favorite way to show someone you love them?  
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I have several ways that I love, but my favorite recently has been with a thoughtful gift.  - To show and say "I see you and I love you and I appreciate you."
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(Bandana/mask is the Ayzosh and bag is the Miramar - both from @parkerclayintl.  Code: PC-JACLYN20 will get you 20% off or you can swipe the link in my stories.  These are the most beautiful bags for the most beautiful cause).
I left L.A. yesterday. I was there for an import I left L.A. yesterday. 

I was there for an important meeting and I want to unravel several of the really cool things I’m discovering, and please, ask me your questions. We are on the self-discovery journey together. 

+ as of tomorrow, I will have meditated 100 days straight. It’s no accident that some of the biggest shifts in my life have happened in the last 100 days.

+ we do not have to heal and grow alone. I used to think it was a solo journey, it’s not. It’s a solo decision to walk in the direction of healing and growth but teachers present themselves and if we are wise, we accept their help.

+ growth doesn’t have to be incremental. We can take quantum leaps and achieve well beyond the obvious. This requires a dramatic mindset shift, but these quantum leaps are available to all of us. 

This healing, this growth - it’s the foundation of emotional freedom which translates into creating the life one dreams of. I’m watching it unfold before my eyes and simultaneously thinking “this is the truth I have been seeking. It’s been here all along.”

Easter is the day in which Jesus rose 🌹- we are invited to do the same. 

You can book a Sacred Space one-on-one call with me via the link in my bio. You don’t have to wait or walk alone. 

With so much love, 
Jaclyn
I appreciate a curated feed and photo, but this is I appreciate a curated feed and photo, but this is the real me.  It's raw.  It's sunset after a work day.  I'm taking a hike and releasing the to-list hangover that sometimes seeps into my evening hours.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Moments like these are my transition moments.  They are the moments that help me center - that bring be back to my aliveness.  I've been thinking about what makes me feel alive a lot lately and I've realized what it is: serving others.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And with that, I've decided, after looking at the impact my podcast, Self Discovery, is making to offer one-on-one coaching.  I don't have a secret methodology.  I don't have a 10 step program.  But what I do have is a lot of life experience.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My offerings are rooted in self-worth, because in my experience, every "obstacle" I have faced - in entrepreneurship, in relationships, in my health, in my bank account - has been clearly tied to feelings of self doubt, low self esteem, unworthiness, fear, and an attitude of "WTF am I doing with my life?!?!?!"⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you are struggling, if you are ready to welcome in a new era, and if you are willing to let go of the bs self-limiting beliefs holding you back, then shoot me a text and let's get this conversation started: 480-531-6858.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yeah, that's really my number, and yeah, I'm really on the other end of the line.  You will have to agree to opt-in, but I promise I will be the person you are speaking to.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This world needs you in your you-est form - that's one of the many gorgeous reasons you are here.  And if you need help stepping into that kind of life-altering, soul singing, powerful self-worth, I am one text message away.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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With So Much Love,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jaclyn
I took my dogs for a hike yesterday, and Pippin, m I took my dogs for a hike yesterday, and Pippin, my 4.5 pound Yorkie is a pill on long walks.  She thinks she is the leader of the pack.  She “muscles” her way around and keeps her nose to the ground like a hound on a scent.  The problem is, her intensity, at times, makes her completely unaware of where she is heading.  And yesterday, my dog Tumnus, (who is about 4x the size of Pip) somehow got a few feet ahead of her and was lifting his leg and peeing on a big rock.  This is not unusual, but what was unusual was that Pippin in all her intensity did not see Tumnus peeing and walked STRAIGHT THROUGH the stream.  Across her whole left side was a line of fresh Tumnus proof of what had just happened.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This reminded me of how we are as humans.  We get so intense, so focused, that we forget to look up and around.  This looking up and around allows us to take stock of our lives.  I mentioned that I hired a healer.  She is an intuitive acupuncturist that can read energy.  She said to me, “Jaclyn, you must stop doing, doing, doing, and practice just being.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Just being.  I have been practicing it this past week and it has allowed me to take an aerial view of my life.  I realize that so many of the things that I worry about have very little importance. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Being alive is important, and if we are caught up in the intensity of living, it’s really hard to feel alive.  In a world where shootings (Atlanta, Boulder) are common place, this concept of being is even more important.  Life is PRECIOUS.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This is my open prayer for the families of the victims lost in these shootings.  Join me if you feel led… I pray that these families feel enveloped by love and a deep knowing that they will one day be reunited with their precious loved ones.  And that in this time of grief, they would allow themselves the space to just be.  And like Johnnyswim sings “if it’s fragile and it shatters, let it matter, let it matter.”
The last two weeks have been transformative. Yes, The last two weeks have been transformative.  Yes, this is a @parkerclayintl post because I love their bags SO much, but this is also a post about the power of taking a breath.
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The last two weeks I haven't posted much.  Not because I was actively taking a break, but because I was totally and completely immersed in my life.
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I hired a healer (so much more on this), I hired a coach (so much more on this), my family came and visited from the midwest.
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And I've been falling in love with my life all over again.
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I read recently that if you want to ignite change in your life, then you have to run as fast as you can into the fire (before you can talk yourself out of it), because there is nothing like fear to bring your bs limiting beliefs to the surface.
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This is so true.  This is so, so true.
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So cheers to letting go of what holds us back, cheers to kick a$$ bags from @parkerclayintl that serve such an amazing purpose, and cheers to Monday even if it feels like Monday!
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Code: PC-JACLYN20 for 20% off this super handy and versatile Padaro bag. (I'll link in my stories, too). In addition, all clothing today is from @everlane.  I'll link similar items in stories, as well!
The importance of following your intuition (tips f The importance of following your intuition (tips for tuning in below):

Have you ever had a feeling so strong that your body reacts physically?  Or an inkling about someone before you meet them?  Or a gentle nudge that you should show up somewhere for some unknown reason?

This is intuition.  It is my belief that it’s actually universal intelligence channeling through you sending you a message.

In our fast paced, over stimulating culture though, it can be really hard to tune out the noise and tune in to this inner voice - this gut feeling.

For me, that’s when I turn to:
💙yoga
💙meditation
💙journaling
💙long walks
💙carving out moments of complete silence with no distraction (I have to put the phone away)
💙allowing energy to move through me instead of stopping it and trying to figure out what it is and how it works

Tuning in and listening to your intuition is vital, but you know what requires even more courage?  Acting on it.  Doing what it is nudging you to do.

Examples of what intuition has clearly led me to:
💯winning an international singing competition
💯meeting my now husband
💯moving to the West
💯finding the podcast guest on today’s episode

And you know what @okoliving ’s founder’s intuition led her to?  Starting this unlikely but so timely and beautifully intentional company.  Lindsay let her intuition lead the way through doubt, obstacles, and naysayers into a space where she is leading the way in ethical, eco-friendly, and safe yoga products.

Listen to our inspired conversation (episode 61) now streaming everywhere.

👉🏼👉🏽👉🏿And then leave us a comment! Did you know that many traditional sticky yoga mats emit toxic gases? I had NO IDEA!  And what did you learn from this episode with Lindsay?
We have to own our distractions. This is VITAL if We have to own our distractions.  This is VITAL if we want to own our day. (Actions steps below)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do we open Instagram right after we wake up?  Do we flip on the TV as soon as we get home?  Do we get caught up in drama at the office?  Do we get sucked into family matters that have nothing to do with us?  Do we allow ourselves to be victims of clickbait when have an open hour to work on our dreams?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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According to Stoic philosophy, owning what we are giving our mental energy to is a vital component of having autonomy over our lives.  Or in other, more personalized, words: are you living your life or is your life living you?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⛵️ Easy action steps for plugging the distraction holes:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. plan out "you" time - for self care, for working on your dreams, for accomplishing what you need to, etc. throughout the week (put it in your calendar as a non-negotiable)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. put your phone on airplane mode or put your phone on silent in another room⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. have written out what you want to accomplish during that time⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. set a timer⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. take a breath⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. do the work⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here's the thing, and I'm gearing up to go DEEP on this subject: chronically allowing distraction into our lives is a self worth issue.  We are saying to the Almighty: My time is not valuable.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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💎 truth check: YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE BECAUSE YOU ARE VALUABLE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We just have to start acting like it.  A great question to ask ourselves during the day is: would a person who values themselves spend time doing this?  If not, act accordingly.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🦋 What's one distraction, that if you decreased or eliminated it, would give you back super valuable time to work toward your dreams and desires?  Let's encourage each other in the comments below.  Chances are, if you are experiencing that distraction, someone else is too!
Do you take risks? And what really are risks? Is Do you take risks?

And what really are risks?  Is it jumping out of a plane?  Moving across the country?  Getting married?  Making that phone call?  DM-ing that person you admire to share the kind of value you or your product could offer them?  Making what feels like a vulnerable post on Instagram?

I know this much, my beautiful friends: progress, momentum, forward movement, success - they ALL require risk.

And @missamandasellers is sharing with us some of the risks she’s taken.  And boy oh boy have some of them paid off!  And some of them, she admits, haven’t.  However, she is still standing and growing and thriving and inspiring the rest of us to act on our own potential.

Risks, rejection, self worth, and self healing with Miss Amanda Sellers - episode 60 is up NOW!  Links in stories and in BIO.

✌🏼✌🏽✌🏿✌🏾What’s one risk you’ve taken that’s really paid off?  Let’s encourage one another!

p.s. neck scarf is from @parkerclayintl and has a built in and removable face mask.  I’ll link in my stories and code: PC-JACLYN20 will give you 20% off. :)
How do you know if you're stressed? Is this a dum How do you know if you're stressed?  Is this a dumb question?  I'm spilling some tea right here.  This is NOT a dumb question.  Recently, I've been SUPER focused on taking back the reigns of my life.  The beauty of my Hashimoto's diagnosis last August is that it's forced me to make some big changes because my health LITERALLY depends on it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I started with getting on the right medication dosage, then focused on dietary changes, and then stress management.  I probably should've STARTED with stress management.  Here's why:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I was so stressed all the time that I didn't know what not being stressed felt like.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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That's why last week I shared a post on lowering cortisol because stress causes cortisol spikes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So here's the tea and these things are KEY if you want to lower your stress/take your life back:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 put your phone away (I do no phone after 7PM, and I also keep my phone in my purse for the majority of the work day). The phone is constant stimulation and constant cortisol spikes for me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 prioritizing your dreams.  Creating space and taking action on what I want to accomplish FIRST rather then tending to everyone and their needs and THEN doing what I need to do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 take f-ing care of yourself.  Sleep.  Rest.  Time for books and just f-ing thinking.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 boundaries... with literally everyone.  What do I need today to be healthy and move my dreams forward? ... if you don't fit into that, I love you, but I'm worthy of my focus and attention.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 morning meditation⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 mindful eating/not multi-tasking⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💙 time spent doing things that fill me up - like spending quality time with my man.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For years, I had this list flipped upside down.  I was my priority only after I had made everyone else my priority.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🦋Success/progress/healing requires boundaries and stress management. Your thoughts?🦋
Want a super quick tip for getting over the obstac Want a super quick tip for getting over the obstacles you face every day?

Be the super hero of your own life.

I got this idea from Andrée Werner, co-founder of Ryze Superfoods, Harvard AND Julliard grad, and… my latest podcast guest.  This brilliant woman and her business partner, Rashad, launched their signature mushroom superfood coffee (which you have heard me mention repeatedly because I love it) in the midst of a pandemic and they are KILLING IT.

As with all entrepreneurial adventures, this ish is hard, but Andrée and Rashad approach obstacles armed with the best question ever: what would a super hero do right now?

And the answer?  It’s ALWAYS “figure it out.”

And really, isn’t that what life is all about?  Being resourceful and resilient and responsible for our own destinies?

I love this lady and her story and this company that she helped create called @ryzesuperfoods.  This episode is an interesting listen if you’re into health and entrepreneurship.  AND if you want to try their INCREDIBLE superfood-packed mushroom coffee, visit the link in their bio and use code: JACLYN at checkout for 15% off your order.

Have you guys tried mushroom coffee yet?  I’m obsessed.  My husband is on it.  My mom is on it.  Several of my friends are on board.  I think it’s the wave of the less caffeinated, more calm future.

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