Twelve and a half. 12.5. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Twelve and a half.  12.5.
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That's the number of years @samthurmond_rei and I have been a thing.
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The first trip we ever took together was to the Grand Canyon.  We look like babies.  I was a senior in college, he was fresh out of the Air Force Academy and we were two kids who had no idea what we were doing... just that we really liked each other.  Lol.  That's what we would say on the phone to each other before getting off the line, too. It was before "I love you." "I really, really like you."
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Our love story has not always been rosy.  We've had some amazing times, and we've had some times that have really brought us to our knees.  Like big time, knees aching kind of stuff.  But something I cherish the most about our relationship is the history we have built.
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12.5 years worth of history.  I wrote a song a long time ago and one of the lyrics was this "I know it's tempting to lean into the mystery, but you and me, we got history..." There is something so comforting about those shared experiences.  They ground me.  They make me feel seen.  They are evidence that we keep choosing each other even when we don't have to.
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I have a sinus infection right now and I'm feeling like crud - but I want to continue my habit of looking around me and feeling awe.  Awe that inspires such gratitude in me that I could burst... Knowing my husband is in the next room.  The health of my sweet Pip whose resting on my lap.  The hot tea I am about to make.  The sweet message from my friend who loves me so much and wants to know how I am.
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Another thing I'm so grateful for is YOU.  The friendships I've made on here lift me up.  I hope I can lift you up the way you lift me.
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What's something small you are feeling incredibly grateful for today?
I JUST got off the phone with Pip's vet and she sh I JUST got off the phone with Pip's vet and she shared that Pippin's biopsy results show...
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NO CANCER!  It's been one week since the shocking phone call I received while she was having her routine dental.  The doctor informed me that they thought they found a tumor in her mouth and essentially that I needed to prepare for the worst and that the best thing we could do is try and make her comfortable, but that humane euthanasia would probably be necessary.  7 days have passed without knowing her biopsy results. 
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I've looked at her sweet little face every single day for the last week and I've been filled with gratitude knowing she has been mine for the last 10 years.  I shared in my IGTV video last week the priming God provided leading up to this crazy news (reference that video if you are interested) and I have continued to feel so held and loved and cared for despite the not knowing. 
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So many of you have texted me, messaged me, checked in on me.  You've prayed and shared so much love.  I cannot thank you enough.  THANK YOU from my heart's bottom.  LOL.  I adore the community on here.  You all are my peeps.
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In lighter/far more disgusting/totally unglamorous news:  I woke up and rolled over into a pile of Pippin vomit this morning.  She is a little diva model and when she over eats (she did last night) she throws it up.  And today, I had the immense pleasure of rolling right into it first thing.  Normally, I would've cursed and been angry, but today, I looked at her and was like: throw up all you want, girl.  I'm just so happy you're here. 
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🐶 Perspective is everything, huh?  Have any funny/gross pet stories you can share with me?  I'm in a relief laughing mood.
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Love to you,
J
What a historic day! Couple of announcements/upda What a historic day!  Couple of announcements/updates:
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➕ to those of you who are asking about my precious Pip - still no updates.  We are still awaiting biopsy results.  Your comments, prayers, messages have filled my heart.  She is currently acting like her sassy self.  I'm so grateful.
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➕ with the unexpected Pip news last Wednesday, I failed to share that season 2 of Self Discovery is out (link in bio)! Like right now.  And last Wednesday.  So TWO eps.
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➕ Today's episode is with surgeon @drstephenlober.  I had never considered plastic surgery to be a part of my wellness practice, but I think that thought needs to be shaken up.  Why?  Because the way we feel in our bodies is important.  While I don't want you to ever feel like you need to have plastic surgery to fix anything, I do want to take some of the stigma surrounding plastic surgery away.  That's why I think this conversation with Dr. Lober is so interesting and that's why I'm openly talking about the procedure I had done.  
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You are gorgeous the way you are, but I understand what it feels like to feel self conscious about an area on your beautiful bod.  So, we crafted this episode around your questions.  My intent in sharing this information is to educate, empower, and satisfy your curiosity around the intriguing world of plastic surgery.
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👏🏿👏🏾👏🏽👏🏼👏🏻 Also, how much do you agree that Amanda Gorman stole the show today??? MY GOSH! Tell me your thoughts!!!
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Love to you all!
J
Sometimes it is an absolute necessity to shake the Sometimes it is an absolute necessity to shake the sleeping self.
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Just like a snake sheds its skin, we need times of renewal to rid ourselves of the muck we no longer need to carry.
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To shake the sleeping self requires discomfort.  It requires us to leave the safety and certainty of our homes and routines so that we can open our eyes to the vastness that lies before us.  I think when you feel stuck, the best thing you can do is put yourself in a position to be awed.  Sometimes feeling small is exactly what you need to feel big.
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On this #mlkday, I'm reminded of my smallness.  But, I'm also reminded of my ability to participate in ways that bring about big change.  Like...
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➕Supporting @15percentpledge
➕Choosing to be uncomfortably aware of my white privilege
➕Joining groups and organizations & classes with people who come from vastly different backgrounds than I do
➕Celebrating, sharing, and promoting black owned businesses, accounts, artists, creators, etc. 
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None of the above is hard - it just requires me to get out of my head and into the usefulness of my hands.  To sit in awareness and ask myself: "how can I participate in creating equality today?" 
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Human rights are just that... a right.  Not a privilege.  When one of us is persecuted, all of us are... for we all come from the same source.
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❤️ Who are some of your favorite black creators/owned businesses/artists, etc. here on instagram?  Please share.  I want to follow.  I want to participate.  I want to see the vast beauty that lies before me.
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I want to share the AMAZING artist, @starofonyii (you can commission art from him), the yoga studio @activepeaceyoga (they offer virtual classes), non- profit @divaswhowin, the GORGEOUS blogger @bloggermamahayleyj, and musicians @dwaynenate @blacknerdmonsta & @wesdaruler.
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Participating in community is fun.
Are you feeling stressed right now? Is the chaos Are you feeling stressed right now?  Is the chaos of our current political climate making you feel unsteady?  Me too.
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I want to share a few things I'm finding deep, deep comfort in amidst unprecedented times in the hope that you will feel comfort, too.  The best thing we can do right now is care for each other & care for ourselves.  My individual energy is part of the collective & vice versa.  We are connected me & you.
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Here are a few things that are bringing me solace:
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🙏🏼 The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday.  Such a beautiful book.  If you cannot afford it right now, DM me.  I'll share insights & help you figure something out.
🙏🏽 Meditation.  I use the @insighttimer app every day right after I make coffee & it helps to calm me before I engage with the outside world.  Nourishing our inner world before going out into the outer world is vital.  ESPECIALLY right now.
🙏🏾 Essential oils.  Whether you believe in their efficacy or not, stopping for a moment, smelling, & breathing help relax your nervous system & transport you into the present moment.
🙏🏿 My @komusodesign Shift necklace.  It's a necklace (not picture above) that you exhale into.  It slows down your breath, calms your nervous system, slows your heart rate, reduces your cortisol, & helps to relax your mind and body.  Do this breathing several rounds after putting your fave essential oil on your neck & wrists.  It's like the bliss of savasana after a yoga class.  I have a discount code.  DM me if you want it.  I don't want you to feel any obligation or trigger pressure to buy more stuff in this moment.
💧 Liquids.  I've been drinking so many smoothies & so much water and tea.  When the outside world is chaotic, nourishing my inside world feels really necessary.  Also, hydration is paramount to thinking clearly.  I need this.
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What are you doing to care for yourself?
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Love,
J
9 days ago my boots were crunching atop the snow a 9 days ago my boots were crunching atop the snow and ice at the Grand Canyon.
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This land we call home is pure magic.  Getting out in nature and tapping into my peace of mind does wonders for my soul.  Especially when things feel so uncertain as they do right now. 
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(I realize I am particularly fortunate in that I live in an RV and can safely venture to a lot of places). 
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🌲 Sometimes when I am feeling stuck, it comforts me to think on the beautiful things that lie ahead for me.  If you are feeling in that place of stuck-ness, where is one place you could go in your head right now that would uplift your heart? 
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Is it a lavender field?  Paris?  The Grand Canyon?  You local farmer's market?  I want to know.  And where is the first place you want to go when it is deemed safe?
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I'm sending you so much love right now.  You deserve it.
.
.
.
.
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Hat is @gigipip (DM me if you want a discount code!), Jacket is @levis, Boots are @thefryecompany, Layered necklaces are @electricpicks
A short poem that came to me on my walk yesterday A short poem that came to me on my walk yesterday regarding current events...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And she wept.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the soul of a nation on whose soil she was born.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the collective broken heart of the people who call this land home.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the fear, uncertainty, and helplessness that so many are feeling in these moments that will be scrolled into history.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the day.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And then as the dawn broke anew, she lifted her face to the sun.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There is hope.  Always. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So much love to you all,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jaclyn
It feels good and right to lift our faces to the s It feels good and right to lift our faces to the sun. 🌞 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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With so much uncertainty and craziness happening in the world, I'm clinging to a Stoic Philosophy principle: focus on what you CAN control.  My thoughts, my feelings, my actions...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's easy to get bent out of shape with worry, but I when I do, I ask myself: is this worry benefitting me or anyone else?  Spoiler: my worry never benefits anything.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For today, I want to do something kind for someone for no reason in particular, work on a project I'm really looking forward to releasing (like maybe even next week...), write a new podcast episode, and go and enjoy a Mediterranean dinner with my mom and my husband.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When things feel big and messy, I like to keep things simple.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ How are you feeling about current happenings?  I want to know because I want to know YOU.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sending you big love today!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jaclyn⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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p.s. Also, speaking of living with intention, did you listen to episode 52 of the podcast?  It's all about being intentional, with practical tips and questions, about who you want to be by the end of 2021.  The link to the episode is in my stories AND via the link in my bio.
This is what Tumnus calls a family hug. 😂 He do This is what Tumnus calls a family hug. 😂 He does this EVERY time Sam hugs me or tries to dance with me. 

I forgot I had this on my phone.  I recorded it when I was making a bunch of youtube videos... one being about all my pets.  LOL.  They are constant sources of entertainment.  I know you already know this because so many of you have pets.

📣 Do you have dogs or cats?  What are their names?

➕ I have Tumnus - a Yorkie/Schnauzer mix.  He's 13.
➕ I have Pippin - a Yorkie.  She's 9, almost 10.
➕ And I have Shiloh, who we often call Birdie because she once ate an ENTIRE bird that our cat killed and then came inside and proceeded to throw up the ENTIRE bird carcass on our very nice West Elm rug.  She's 4 and a rescue and we have no idea what kind of breed she is but we like it like that.
➕ Santiago, our cat, is currently being taken care of by the lovely people who purchased our home.  We were really worried about taking an outside cat out on the road with us.  When we purchased our former home, he was on the front stoop waiting for us when we arrived.  He was in pretty bad shape, but with some vet care and TLC from us, he became part of the family and we miss him dearly.

I cannot imagine life without pets.  They are little joy (and sometimes annoyance) buckets.  I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
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Self Help, Uncategorized, Wellness · November 25, 2019

What do we do when paid therapy is out of reach?

The dark night was upon me.  It had descended and was now surrounding me on all four sides.  My normally sunny disposition was out of grasp and I felt a sense of disillusionment in its absence.  I felt betrayed – as though the world of color I had always imagined turned out to be 50 shades of non-sexy gray.

To see the world this way, through the lens of depression, felt desolate.  I had been sad before.  I had even experienced bouts of depression, but this felt wholly different.  This time felt deeper and darker, like I was carrying the sorrow in the very marrow of my bones.  

In the past, I had out-smarted my pain.  I had done therapy and read books and got so busy that I forgot about those pieces of me that had been so damaged – those fractured bits that I put right back into place as if they were task ready.  Operating like this, like a machine with the red lights flashing, finally caught up with me.  And like so many things that aren’t cared for and tended to, my mind and my heart and body said “no more.”

I felt like they went on strike and forgot to tell me.  As though each part of what makes me whole was in another part of the planet altogether.  Pulling them back in felt like it would require a strength that I knew I could not muster – the strength of an army of elephants with the cunning of a herd of cats.

For the first time ever, I felt like recovery was beyond me.  I barely recognized myself.  I didn’t want to admit I was depressed – that I had all the symptoms – yet I knew that depression had come for an extended visit and already unpacked it’s bags and placed it’s toothbrush at the sink.

I needed help – this I did recognize.  I knew I couldn’t keep going on like this without addressing the misalignment in my soul.  I committed to seeing a therapist.  I asked a friend for recommendations.  I researched my local options and read reviews and readied myself to make an appointment.  Then I called my insurance company – the one my husband and I paid $700 a month to as independently employed people, and was told that no therapy would be covered until we met our $7000 deductible for the year toward which we had made zero progress.

I remember hanging up the phone feeling enraged.  How could a system be so backward?  What were people supposed to do when they needed help?  And I am privileged.  Seriously privileged as far as the rest of the world goes and still, I couldn’t afford therapy without putting it on a credit card and going several thousand dollars into debt.  

This had been an extremely difficult year financially for both my husband and me as our businesses were both in the terrible two toddler stage.  Everything was still wobbly and trying to find its footing.  The rage built as I thought about people less privileged than me needing help even more than me and being farther from getting it than I was.  None of this felt right.  It felt fraudulent.  What were we paying $700 a month for?

The train had left the building and ended up right back where it had started.  Each part of me still felt miles away, but I knew I couldn’t sit and wait for their return.  I had to learn to lasso them home on my own… but how?

I racked my brain.  I went back into the depths of my experiences and searched for a time where I felt freedom and joy.  What was I doing when I was in that place?  What actions was I taking to cultivate those feelings?
And I remembered how I felt when I read “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron for the first time.  I felt seen in a way that I had never felt seen before and huge part of that was through an exercise that Julia calls “Morning Pages” – which are simply 3 pages of your stream of consciousness when you wake up in the morning.

Desperate, I bought myself a cheap journal and started writing.  The words poured out page after page after page.  At one point I wrote 18 pages in one sitting.  I couldn’t stop.  The dam opened and all of these feelings were fighting their way onto the parchment.  As if putting them to ink finally validated them.

The author, Joan Didion, said something like “I have to write so I can figure out how I feel” and that is exactly what I did.  I wrote and wrote and wrote so that I could feel again.  I had been running from and intellectualizing and categorizing my pain and my experiences for so long.  So long.  I thought I had been addressing and dealing with them but I forgot about the most important component of healing… feeling.

I was afraid of the pain, like so many of us are, so I never fully allowed myself to feel it.  Well, I did long ago, at 18, for a short period of time, but the pain hurt so bad I didn’t think I could bear it so I shut off all sense of feeling.  I didn’t cry for a year because I couldn’t.  I was so out of touch.  So far from that priceless and vulnerable part of my humanity that I was willing to trade it for pennies.  

For a life free from pain is not a life but an illusion – a mirage in the desert that will always and forever be out of reach.

Jaclyn Steele

I had progressed since that tender age of 18, but my pain became something I challenged myself with instead of something I held tenderly.  How could I outsmart it?  Self help it?  Understand and categorize it?  Intellectualize it?  I wasn’t yet brave enough to feel it.  And I now understand why… because when you start to feel it, the shadow side, the fear living in us, whispers softly in our ears that “this will be the end of us.”  That this black wave of emotional will take us down and hold us there until there is no breath or life left in our lungs.

But because I was so desperate and so helpless I couldn’t hold the wave back this time.  I was powerless against it and you know what I learned?  That the darkness isn’t so dark after all.  All that pain had clogged the arteries of my life and that dark wave was the medicine that cleared it out.
And the words that I wrote on all those pages were the salve to my psychological wounds.  That pain, that fear, that trauma… it just wanted to be validated.  It wanted someone to finally admit that it was real and that it mattered and that it happened to me.

I didn’t know it then, but that journal was the template for my book and my song, Didn’t Break Me.  I wrote and wrote and wrote and found that there were several common denominators that I kept returning to that made me feel whole again, even if just momentarily.  They were the actions lassoing all those sacred parts of me and placing them tenderly, shined and repaired, back into one place.

And because I know what if feels like to be unable to afford therapy in our broken system, I want to share my story and healing journey with you, in the hope that it will be a loving roadmap that leads you back to yourself.  You’re beautiful, worthy, good-enough-just-as-you-are self.

My sweet little ebook is completely free.  And so is the song that I wrote that goes with it along with several other life-affirming freebies.  

You can get them all right here: https://jaclynsteele.com.pages.ontraport.net/didntbreakmebundle

You are not alone, my dear.  You are not broken.  You are brilliant… even if you don’t know it yet.


Light, Love, & Peace,

JACLYN STEELE

p.s. Disclaimer: I am not a therapist and am not suggesting in any way, shape, or form that therapy is unnecessary.  I simply do not want anyone to feel helpless if they are in a position where they cannot currently afford it.

In: Self Help, Uncategorized, Wellness · Tagged: depression, emotional trauma, healing

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Comments

  1. Ashley Jenkins says

    November 26, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    I love this so much! As both a fellow advocate for mental health and a professional working for a private mental healthcare practice, this post is 100% accurate. It hurts my heart on such a deep level that our healthcare system is as screwed up as it is. Just yesterday, I had someone ask me what resources there were for people in a similar situation to what you wrote about, and tears welled in my eyes when I couldn’t give them hope because…there really isn’t any good and reasonable answer for many, many people. It’s so awful.

    On a personal level, this year I also tried to take the plunge into therapy for anxiety/depression. I put a couple months of sessions on a credit card and quickly realized that was not a long-term solution. I talked to a friend and found out that I could get an unlimited amount of sessions every month at a fitness studio for the same cost as just ONE 50-minute session of therapy. It blew my mind. Now I’m able to be healthier, I found a new community of friends/motivators, and the endorphin rush after a good workout is always a great feeling. Not saying it’s for everyone or a cure-all, but I’m glad that like you, I was able to find a work-around for such a terrible situation.

    Love and allll the hugs- Ash

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      November 26, 2019 at 4:23 pm

      You are a queen! Not only are you so loving and compassionate toward others, but you’re also do the amazingly hard work of taking care of yourself. I’m SO glad that you found an alternative. I think we have to advocate for ourselves and refuse to give up. Things will change, but for now, we are dealt a difficult hand. I’m proud of us for not giving in and doing something about how we were feeling. I love you friend. I’m so grateful for you. I wish we lived closer! <3

      Reply
  2. Maureen O'Hare says

    November 26, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Jaclyn,

    I read your post with a pain in my heart and a tear in my eye. I also work in the healthcare industry and, when I needed mental health/medical consultation, I had to turn over every stone. A couple of suggestions: contact NAMI (Nat’l Alliance on Mental Illness) and your church – most churches have resources and/or pastors who are equip with counseling skills. Also, are there any universities around you – they have resources. It is difficult and painful but seek a third party. I’m sending my love and extra hugs. Remember, “You are BRILLIANT”!

    Reply
    • jsteele says

      November 27, 2019 at 9:14 pm

      Maureen,

      I hate that you know how all of this feels but I know that you do. I am astounded by your strength and fortitude. You are one bada$$ woman in my book. Thank you so much for sending these resources. I’m glad you sent them publicly on my post because they will be available for everyone to see. You are such a gift and you have a heart the size of Texas. Thank you Maureen. <3 YOU are brilliant!

      I love you and Happy Thanksgiving!
      Jaclyn

      Reply

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I have never, ever done this before.

I'm Jaclyn. Writer. Podcaster. Songstress. Wander-luster. Clean beauty convert & conscious fashionista. I've never met a nude lipstick or personal development section I didn't like.

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Twelve and a half. 12.5. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Twelve and a half.  12.5.
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That's the number of years @samthurmond_rei and I have been a thing.
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The first trip we ever took together was to the Grand Canyon.  We look like babies.  I was a senior in college, he was fresh out of the Air Force Academy and we were two kids who had no idea what we were doing... just that we really liked each other.  Lol.  That's what we would say on the phone to each other before getting off the line, too. It was before "I love you." "I really, really like you."
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Our love story has not always been rosy.  We've had some amazing times, and we've had some times that have really brought us to our knees.  Like big time, knees aching kind of stuff.  But something I cherish the most about our relationship is the history we have built.
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12.5 years worth of history.  I wrote a song a long time ago and one of the lyrics was this "I know it's tempting to lean into the mystery, but you and me, we got history..." There is something so comforting about those shared experiences.  They ground me.  They make me feel seen.  They are evidence that we keep choosing each other even when we don't have to.
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I have a sinus infection right now and I'm feeling like crud - but I want to continue my habit of looking around me and feeling awe.  Awe that inspires such gratitude in me that I could burst... Knowing my husband is in the next room.  The health of my sweet Pip whose resting on my lap.  The hot tea I am about to make.  The sweet message from my friend who loves me so much and wants to know how I am.
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Another thing I'm so grateful for is YOU.  The friendships I've made on here lift me up.  I hope I can lift you up the way you lift me.
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What's something small you are feeling incredibly grateful for today?
I JUST got off the phone with Pip's vet and she sh I JUST got off the phone with Pip's vet and she shared that Pippin's biopsy results show...
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NO CANCER!  It's been one week since the shocking phone call I received while she was having her routine dental.  The doctor informed me that they thought they found a tumor in her mouth and essentially that I needed to prepare for the worst and that the best thing we could do is try and make her comfortable, but that humane euthanasia would probably be necessary.  7 days have passed without knowing her biopsy results. 
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I've looked at her sweet little face every single day for the last week and I've been filled with gratitude knowing she has been mine for the last 10 years.  I shared in my IGTV video last week the priming God provided leading up to this crazy news (reference that video if you are interested) and I have continued to feel so held and loved and cared for despite the not knowing. 
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So many of you have texted me, messaged me, checked in on me.  You've prayed and shared so much love.  I cannot thank you enough.  THANK YOU from my heart's bottom.  LOL.  I adore the community on here.  You all are my peeps.
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In lighter/far more disgusting/totally unglamorous news:  I woke up and rolled over into a pile of Pippin vomit this morning.  She is a little diva model and when she over eats (she did last night) she throws it up.  And today, I had the immense pleasure of rolling right into it first thing.  Normally, I would've cursed and been angry, but today, I looked at her and was like: throw up all you want, girl.  I'm just so happy you're here. 
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🐶 Perspective is everything, huh?  Have any funny/gross pet stories you can share with me?  I'm in a relief laughing mood.
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Love to you,
J
What a historic day! Couple of announcements/upda What a historic day!  Couple of announcements/updates:
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➕ to those of you who are asking about my precious Pip - still no updates.  We are still awaiting biopsy results.  Your comments, prayers, messages have filled my heart.  She is currently acting like her sassy self.  I'm so grateful.
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➕ with the unexpected Pip news last Wednesday, I failed to share that season 2 of Self Discovery is out (link in bio)! Like right now.  And last Wednesday.  So TWO eps.
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➕ Today's episode is with surgeon @drstephenlober.  I had never considered plastic surgery to be a part of my wellness practice, but I think that thought needs to be shaken up.  Why?  Because the way we feel in our bodies is important.  While I don't want you to ever feel like you need to have plastic surgery to fix anything, I do want to take some of the stigma surrounding plastic surgery away.  That's why I think this conversation with Dr. Lober is so interesting and that's why I'm openly talking about the procedure I had done.  
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You are gorgeous the way you are, but I understand what it feels like to feel self conscious about an area on your beautiful bod.  So, we crafted this episode around your questions.  My intent in sharing this information is to educate, empower, and satisfy your curiosity around the intriguing world of plastic surgery.
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👏🏿👏🏾👏🏽👏🏼👏🏻 Also, how much do you agree that Amanda Gorman stole the show today??? MY GOSH! Tell me your thoughts!!!
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Love to you all!
J
Sometimes it is an absolute necessity to shake the Sometimes it is an absolute necessity to shake the sleeping self.
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Just like a snake sheds its skin, we need times of renewal to rid ourselves of the muck we no longer need to carry.
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To shake the sleeping self requires discomfort.  It requires us to leave the safety and certainty of our homes and routines so that we can open our eyes to the vastness that lies before us.  I think when you feel stuck, the best thing you can do is put yourself in a position to be awed.  Sometimes feeling small is exactly what you need to feel big.
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On this #mlkday, I'm reminded of my smallness.  But, I'm also reminded of my ability to participate in ways that bring about big change.  Like...
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➕Supporting @15percentpledge
➕Choosing to be uncomfortably aware of my white privilege
➕Joining groups and organizations & classes with people who come from vastly different backgrounds than I do
➕Celebrating, sharing, and promoting black owned businesses, accounts, artists, creators, etc. 
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None of the above is hard - it just requires me to get out of my head and into the usefulness of my hands.  To sit in awareness and ask myself: "how can I participate in creating equality today?" 
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Human rights are just that... a right.  Not a privilege.  When one of us is persecuted, all of us are... for we all come from the same source.
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❤️ Who are some of your favorite black creators/owned businesses/artists, etc. here on instagram?  Please share.  I want to follow.  I want to participate.  I want to see the vast beauty that lies before me.
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I want to share the AMAZING artist, @starofonyii (you can commission art from him), the yoga studio @activepeaceyoga (they offer virtual classes), non- profit @divaswhowin, the GORGEOUS blogger @bloggermamahayleyj, and musicians @dwaynenate @blacknerdmonsta & @wesdaruler.
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Participating in community is fun.
Are you feeling stressed right now? Is the chaos Are you feeling stressed right now?  Is the chaos of our current political climate making you feel unsteady?  Me too.
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I want to share a few things I'm finding deep, deep comfort in amidst unprecedented times in the hope that you will feel comfort, too.  The best thing we can do right now is care for each other & care for ourselves.  My individual energy is part of the collective & vice versa.  We are connected me & you.
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Here are a few things that are bringing me solace:
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🙏🏼 The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday.  Such a beautiful book.  If you cannot afford it right now, DM me.  I'll share insights & help you figure something out.
🙏🏽 Meditation.  I use the @insighttimer app every day right after I make coffee & it helps to calm me before I engage with the outside world.  Nourishing our inner world before going out into the outer world is vital.  ESPECIALLY right now.
🙏🏾 Essential oils.  Whether you believe in their efficacy or not, stopping for a moment, smelling, & breathing help relax your nervous system & transport you into the present moment.
🙏🏿 My @komusodesign Shift necklace.  It's a necklace (not picture above) that you exhale into.  It slows down your breath, calms your nervous system, slows your heart rate, reduces your cortisol, & helps to relax your mind and body.  Do this breathing several rounds after putting your fave essential oil on your neck & wrists.  It's like the bliss of savasana after a yoga class.  I have a discount code.  DM me if you want it.  I don't want you to feel any obligation or trigger pressure to buy more stuff in this moment.
💧 Liquids.  I've been drinking so many smoothies & so much water and tea.  When the outside world is chaotic, nourishing my inside world feels really necessary.  Also, hydration is paramount to thinking clearly.  I need this.
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What are you doing to care for yourself?
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Love,
J
9 days ago my boots were crunching atop the snow a 9 days ago my boots were crunching atop the snow and ice at the Grand Canyon.
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This land we call home is pure magic.  Getting out in nature and tapping into my peace of mind does wonders for my soul.  Especially when things feel so uncertain as they do right now. 
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(I realize I am particularly fortunate in that I live in an RV and can safely venture to a lot of places). 
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🌲 Sometimes when I am feeling stuck, it comforts me to think on the beautiful things that lie ahead for me.  If you are feeling in that place of stuck-ness, where is one place you could go in your head right now that would uplift your heart? 
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Is it a lavender field?  Paris?  The Grand Canyon?  You local farmer's market?  I want to know.  And where is the first place you want to go when it is deemed safe?
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I'm sending you so much love right now.  You deserve it.
.
.
.
.
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Hat is @gigipip (DM me if you want a discount code!), Jacket is @levis, Boots are @thefryecompany, Layered necklaces are @electricpicks
A short poem that came to me on my walk yesterday A short poem that came to me on my walk yesterday regarding current events...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And she wept.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the soul of a nation on whose soil she was born.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the collective broken heart of the people who call this land home.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the fear, uncertainty, and helplessness that so many are feeling in these moments that will be scrolled into history.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She wept for the day.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And then as the dawn broke anew, she lifted her face to the sun.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There is hope.  Always. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So much love to you all,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jaclyn
It feels good and right to lift our faces to the s It feels good and right to lift our faces to the sun. 🌞 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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With so much uncertainty and craziness happening in the world, I'm clinging to a Stoic Philosophy principle: focus on what you CAN control.  My thoughts, my feelings, my actions...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's easy to get bent out of shape with worry, but I when I do, I ask myself: is this worry benefitting me or anyone else?  Spoiler: my worry never benefits anything.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For today, I want to do something kind for someone for no reason in particular, work on a project I'm really looking forward to releasing (like maybe even next week...), write a new podcast episode, and go and enjoy a Mediterranean dinner with my mom and my husband.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When things feel big and messy, I like to keep things simple.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ How are you feeling about current happenings?  I want to know because I want to know YOU.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sending you big love today!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jaclyn⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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p.s. Also, speaking of living with intention, did you listen to episode 52 of the podcast?  It's all about being intentional, with practical tips and questions, about who you want to be by the end of 2021.  The link to the episode is in my stories AND via the link in my bio.
This is what Tumnus calls a family hug. 😂 He do This is what Tumnus calls a family hug. 😂 He does this EVERY time Sam hugs me or tries to dance with me. 

I forgot I had this on my phone.  I recorded it when I was making a bunch of youtube videos... one being about all my pets.  LOL.  They are constant sources of entertainment.  I know you already know this because so many of you have pets.

📣 Do you have dogs or cats?  What are their names?

➕ I have Tumnus - a Yorkie/Schnauzer mix.  He's 13.
➕ I have Pippin - a Yorkie.  She's 9, almost 10.
➕ And I have Shiloh, who we often call Birdie because she once ate an ENTIRE bird that our cat killed and then came inside and proceeded to throw up the ENTIRE bird carcass on our very nice West Elm rug.  She's 4 and a rescue and we have no idea what kind of breed she is but we like it like that.
➕ Santiago, our cat, is currently being taken care of by the lovely people who purchased our home.  We were really worried about taking an outside cat out on the road with us.  When we purchased our former home, he was on the front stoop waiting for us when we arrived.  He was in pretty bad shape, but with some vet care and TLC from us, he became part of the family and we miss him dearly.

I cannot imagine life without pets.  They are little joy (and sometimes annoyance) buckets.  I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
1st Monday of the year and I'm channeling my inner 1st Monday of the year and I'm channeling my inner @beyonce.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm telling you... nothing makes me get on the dance floor faster than 7/11.  You feel me?  I'm also a real sucker for and turn into a freaking 12 year old boy - just undone - when Thrift Shop from Macklemore & Ryan Lewis plays. (💃🏻 Don't believe me?  Ask @samthurmond_rei what I'm like on the dance floor).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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👊🏽 What are your pump up songs?  I love infusing the beginning of the year with some high vibe, powerful energy!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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👩🏼‍🎤 Should we start a playlist?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Cheers to the 1st Monday of the 2021!  Sending you all BIG BIGGG BIIIIIIIIIIG love. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Jaclyn

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